2 March 2010

♠ King John ♠

John Howard (Yes. THE John Howard) got nominated for the ICC presidency.

After I had reawoken from my absence words were tumbling through my head. Doom. Apocalypse. Ragnarök. IPL. The End of Cricket. Do-not-want.

His political views aside, what are the other things that totally don't qualify him for the job?
  • John Howard
  • No experience in cricket administration, probable puppet
  • Refuses to wear a bag over the head
But he also:
  • Calls himself an absolute cricket tragic, but according to locals knows bugger all about it
  • (Thus I'm like John Howard)
  • (Which sucks in many ways)

Now Peter English, who could be called the Satan of Cricket journalism, if that wasn't already Peter Roebuck, fought nail and tooth to convince me that Howard doesn't suck as much as it seems, and presented a long list of merits in Potatohead's favour, such as
  • He saw Bradman, and so on
  • He called Murali a chucker
  • He arranged his visits to England so that he could see the Ashes
  • He's an absolute cricket tragic while knowing bugger all about it
Grr. I really didn't want to know that. After half an hour of intense pondering and chewing the matter forth and back I came to the conclusion that Howard (my hands will rot off) deserves a go.

So, what are the goals of Howard's presidency:
  • Preventing chuckers from migrating between cricketting nations
  • Preventing anybody else from migrating
  • Banning all sorts of medium brown, brown and dark brown chocolate from cricket grounds
  • Relieving the Subcontinent from the burden of Test Cricket 
  • Introducing annual Ashes
  • Dropping Mitch
Seems I can tolerate about half of his agenda, which is shockingly much. John Howard you may have won my mind but you will never win my heart.


Sidthegnomenator said...

I was planning a post on this!! Never mind :-)

The little git from Bennelong, who refused to accept what was done by his forebears to the aborigines and ruthlessly turned boat people away from Aussie waters should be a blessing to the international flavour of cricket.

I can't wait.

That was sarcasm, btw.

Wes said...

Sorry Sid I had to do it...

For the same reasons you mention here, and more.

Rishabh said...

He can't relieve the subcontinent of anything, he knows where the money is :)

Wes said...

True. They're still paying to see Sachin's test triple. How could I forget that! India better come up with some test fixtures soon. What makes them hesitate? Two years to go for Sachin! ;)

Rishabh said...

In a week or so, it's half a year of T20 cricket, only some of which involves Sachin. His next tests will be in South Africa!

Stani Army said...

How could you agree with this Wes? The guy is a disgrace.

He can call the Iraq war "lawful" but he has the nerve to call Murali a "chucker"?

If he lasts any length of time in the job, cricket will die.

Purna said...

I thought he was just getting a nomination to be on the board. But PRESIDENCY??? No, no, no!

Wasim said...

He called Murali a Chucker?
Well then he deserves the job because he is an honest and straight forward man.

Wes said...

"How could you agree with this Wes?"

Stani, please read the post again. You are taking things out of context and getting worked up about them. Unfortunately I have no time to type pages of explanation again (and I also don't feel it is necessary here, as my opinion is obvious). Sorry mate.

Wasim, the article by Peter English, which I linked in the text, has more info on this. In the meantime Murali has also talked to the press about Howard's nomination (see Cricinfo)

Stani Army said...

Worked up? I think you have the wrong end of the stick....again. And there's no need to be rude. No one is asking you to "type pages of explanations".

Wes said...

Stani I wrote you an email.