17 June 2010

This is wrong in so many levels

Middlesex v Surrey at Lord's
The match of matches


Middlesex win toss, bat (for highlights please scroll down)

[first innings]

Tremlett starts with a dead ball, then Warner skies a free hit.
Nel to continue, Warner gets the first boundary, and a second, the innings has been officially opened now. Six! Poor Andre gets twitchy and bowls a wide. .....and caught! Dammit can the guy pull himself together one time. Nel gets his man! At the risk of sounding repetitive but: stupid Warner!

Dexter in, Tremlett against him, four, continues calmly, 23-1 after 3 ov

Nel back on, four. 29-1 after 4 ov nothing much happening. Gilchrist not firing yet.

Tremlett back on, Dexter gets a boundary. Then Dexter hits him up and Ramps takes him!!! Oh hell! Owy in. Tremlett to Gilchrist, Gilly faces his first ball -it's the 5th over!- and hits it for six! 39 after 5 overs.

Open speculation now about KP probably joining Middlesex (please put some flowers on my grave, I have loved Middx like my own child)

Dernbeast in. Owy yet to face. Wide.  A lot of blabblablubb I haven't listened to, Gilly bats a bit. 42-2

Powerplay over, Batty on for the 7th over. Gilly faces. I hope Middlesex know that this is must-win event here. I am falling asnooze, boundary, 48-2, suddenly Gilly out to Batty. Horror!!!! Schofield took the catch. On the smack list with him! Malan in. 48-3

Schofield into the attack now, to Owy. Plays a beauty, Middlesex 53-3

Symonds in. We need to squeeze some runs out of him. Instead Malan chips it straight back to him and gets gets caught and bowled by Symo!! I am sinking in the ground with a tomato between my ears. 57-4

Newman in, hits the second ball to Younis Khan. I've bloody known all that since last night, incl. the Newman fail!!! Sometimes you bloody know it, it's like a truck that comes rolling towards you and you can't get away, you see it approaching and then, splatter, you're dead. 59-5 Symonds has two. The thing that should not be!

The Pope comes in. Bergy save us, four, six off Schofield!

Symonds back on at 71-5 after 10 overs. Tidy over, 75-5
Dernbeast is back on, single. St. Berg is run out after Shah called (according to Hand, but other sources expressed their doubts about that. Maybe it's a reflex to suspect Owy in such a situation).

Tom Smith in. Dernbeast to continue. Dernbach has complaints, goes out after 3 balls, according to the comment he races to the dugout, fred knows what's wrong with him. RHB into the attack. Under different circumstances I would burst in cheers now, but not today, sorry Rory. Shah takes a four off him.

Batty on, 84-6 in the 13th. Smith caught, not knowing his job. My head is spinning. Not hoping anymore that Middlesex will survive over the whole distance. 84-7, Udal in. Let's hope and pray he knows his job! First ball, keeper takes the edge, out! Decision is doubted but it has to be swallowed.

Murtle in. 86-8. Murtle please no extended suicide today! It's in the hands of Murtagh and Shah here.
Batty bowling. Murtle batting sensibly, trying to get Owais on strike. 98-8, plenty of overs to go, we are in the 15th. Murtle gets a boundary and Murtle gets Middlesex to 100!!! ....and goes lbw. 103-9.

Shah and Collins need to survive, first against Schofield. So far reason prevails. 106-9 after 16 ov.

Batty back on. IOB: "Pedro is not the best batter, I mean, I bat before him!" How encouraging Mister O'Brien! But the boys are doing a good job so far, run, Pedro, run! Last ball of the Batty over, nearly a runout, but they are still twitching. 17 overs complete, 113-9

Nel starts the 18th. IOB says 800 is a total today, they're gonna struggle to reach it. Collins has avoided the strike successfully so far. Owy hits a very pretty four off the last ball but that also means Pedro Collins will be on strike now. Jeez! 117-9

Tremlett to Collins: no run, no run, run out chance, RHB misses, they get the desired single, Owais back on strike, two dot balls, single.

Shah on strike for the last over. Nel! They take two, Collins runs for his life, throw misses, 121-9, two more! 123-9. Refuse the single for the 1000th time, bizarre!!! Two runs off the next ball. 125-9 Two balls left, communication between the batsmen. Just two, fielder got a hand on it. Single off the last ball.

Total: 128-9

[innings break]

Middlesex need to bowl like the devil was behind them, I don't think they can defend this, especially if the Ramps, Davies and Younis get going. Symo is due a performance, Rory can bat, and I will not start with the sudden eruptions that are always possible of Schofield, Spriegel and Nel. My hopes are on the spinners, Dexter, Udal, Smith need to slay, and the eternally underappreciated Iceberg will hopefully rip an aisle through the Surrey batsmen. Holy crap. But maybe, just maybe, it's the day of the Murtle!! Hey Murts, in the mood for killing? :) Collins sure to take wickets. The question is when.

And please guys, FIELD!

[second innings]

Collins to Rory, off the mark, a four to Davies, single, single, dot. 7-0
Murts! single, dot, single, throw misses. Rory hits a PFCNFS Maximum, darnit Rory! And a four.

Collins. Davies, four. 23-0 in the third over, single, dot ball, single, single, almost caught and bowled but it's a dot ball. 26-0

SPIN! The hero of the last match, Smith, comes on. Come on Smithy. (Ummm.) Smithies are good spinners! Four, beats Newman in the field. Dot. Warner slips, two. Warner dives at the boundary. Then Davies goes for the big shot, gone! Josh Davey the subbie takes it. 34-1 Well done Smithy. The Surrey Sachin enters the crease.

Dexter Bergman (?) on. Rory facing. Four. Single. 39-1. Single. Single. Dot. Single. 42-1

Collins, sixth over begins. Dot, single, Rory hits it up in the air, gets a boundary. Then Rory nicks it but Gilly can't quite grab it. Oh damn! Altogether 50-1

Dex! But according to unconfirmed sources it's Berg in Dexter's jumper (??) (and he also bowled the over before the last, hence the strike through), single, dot, dot, single... 55-1... I am currently confused by the jumper thing, as Cricinfo insists it's Dexter.

Smith in, two, single, 59-1, keeps it neat, 60-1 after the 8th

The King comes on. Tidy. 3 off the over 63-1

Smith in, RHB lifts him, just over the fingertips of Warner, goddarnit! Six! Two, Collins fumbles! Then Shah horrible fumble, then RHB is faster than the throw! Last ball, single, 73-1

Udal! Keeps them at bay. 2 runs off the over. Hail the King. 75-1

Berg in! Single, Rory gets a new bat, Gilly up to the stumps. Dot. 1 bye, single, single, 79-1, single.

Udal, single, single, bails come off but RHB is in, two runs , single, 50 for Surrey's very own Barbie, single, 86-1, SIX! Damn you Rory! 92-1

Bergman in, four. Single, single, single, Church again pleasurably letting "Rory Hamilton-Brown" melt on his tongue. He loves the name so much! The 100 comes up at the end of the over.

Smith back on. They are taking the singles and twos, and then a four! And it's 110 after the 15th.

Collins, two, single, single. It feels a bit like England beating Oz in the WT20 finals. Pre-match emotions were a bit like a mixture of hope and fear, and how disappointing it is when you realise that your fear was justified. Oh yes 116-1

Murtle in for the knell. Poor one.

Middlesex clearly feared the derby and Morgan's absence turned their knees into custard. What a great team, what little confidence! 

Grrrmpph nmmpphh mmmmpphh.

Nothing more to say, except for...

...told you so!


Purna said...

Oh my god, they relied on OWHY to score runs?? Oh good lord!! And now KP might join them? WTF!!! I may have to stop supporting Middlesex...

Short Third Will said...

A pretty rubbish performance all round. Didn't bat, didn't bowl and didn't field particularly well. At least my ticket was free as I would hve demanded a refund. Useless.

Wes said...

Purna, Owy is one of M'sex' most important players, very handy and versatile batsman, he's experienced enough for that. In all likeliness KP will join them, yes. What a brainfart.

Hello Short Third Will, welcome. I still envy you for actually seeing them :(