4 December 2010

God fork grrrgg arghhh WTH!!!!!!

Good news first? OK. So, for the Pom gloaters who want to roll around in my Ashes torment: please scroll down.

Bushrangers v Redbacks (Ryobi Cup)

Click to read the euphoric Cricinfo Bulletin

Dan Christian keeps on frickning
Post-match audio interview
Oh. My. God. Dan frickn Christian. Yes he changed his diet a few weeks ago. What we are witnessing here is his incredible tranformation from a stop-and-go cricketer with the odd outburst of clumsiness to a merciless, ice-cold, efficient killer machine. Because to his insane figures of 6-48 (he took all of the first five wickets) and the match best score of 86 you also have to add that he butchered Brad Hodge into hurt-induced retirement. The four wickets DC generously left for the other bowlers were taken by Ben Edmondson, the player who got labelled as dead meat by his homies, the Western Boriers, upon which he moved into the South Australian Orphanage For Abandoned Underrated Cricketers. Michael Klinger has cut the knot as well, back with 76 runs, well done Max :D

I am seriously running out of words and amazement. My pea-brain can't cope with it. What the hell is going on! Three stunning victories in a row, the Redbacks are on a killing spree, and two of these games, including this one, started with a batting collapse, from which the Spiderboys recovered in a remarkable fashion. I hope that the Australian national side has a very close look at these hungry SA blokes, who are currently trying to kick themselves in the arse and thereby out of the misery.

Oh yes... the misery......

Ashes Test 2 Day 1/2

God it sucks elephant arse!!! I agree with my Adelaide connection: Oz must lose this 4:0 to kick the shit out of the selectors. I would sack the whole damn team. Seriously. I would sack everyone except for Watto.

What the hell is going on. Punter has to go, Clarke as well. People are also sick of his looming failure as Australia's next super captain. Nobody wants to see that. Put White in the team, make Mussey the interim skipper and then give White the reigns. Something has to happen. North has to go as well.

In fact my new team would look like this:
Watto, Usman Khawaja, Mike Hussey, Cameron White, Brad Haddin, Steven Smith, Steve O'Keefe (O'Keeeeeeeefe...), Peter Siddle / Ryan Harris, Ben Hilfenhaus, Dougie Bollinger / Peter George (George for Tests in Hobart, England etc)

They will have more than two years to play Tests and grow together. Mussey is obviously not gonna play forever, why not put Tim Paine in. So the guys behind the stumps can be swapped after each over; while in the field they can think up new sledges, which they will then spew at the batsmen while keeping. HAR HAR. Khawaja will compete with Hughesless I think. My mind has changed on him, I want little Flap to make runs. Good times. Then in 2.5 years, when a new 17-man squad has to be named, I want to see Aiden Blizzard's name in it and perhaps even Dan Christian's. Is the number of Vics appropriate? I think two is ok. And God knows what great new fast bowlers will be available then as back-ups.

Alright perhaps the list was made with a winking eye but you see where I'm coming from. What surfaces here is a whole year of delayed necessary changes. But the second reason for my enormous anger is that they are stuffing up my Adelaide Test. This incapable, incompetent, impotent, cack-handed bunch of half-arses is seriously fricking up MY TEST. BOOOOOO!

I'm afraid I can't take another Cook double ton. While England's future skipper (really... I still don't get it) is making one hundred after another Clarke has a tonne strapped to his back.
Oh have I mentioned that KP is on 80odd*

Let's hope it rains. Let's hope they'll get past 200 in their second innings. Let's hope a plane dumps some form over the Adelaide Oval. Let's hope for something that lets us hope.

Yawning and zombiefied,


Lou said...

No, no, not 4-0. I hsve a few bets on England winning the series and none of them are for 4-0.

I can't claim any prescience, I would have thought the shambolic run-up to this series by the Aussies and the 17 player squad selection were enough to set alarm bells ringing in any right-thinking person.

Sidthegnomenator said...

Wes might be right though, Lou, when she says it will take at least a 4-0 mauling for CA to see sense and lose the selectors and half the team. A loss of 3-0 probably won't be seen as bad enough.

Wes, bring on O'Keefe!

Lou said...

I am finding it nonsensical that they have saved ALL their panicking up for the Ashes. That on its own should lose the NSP their jobs.

Drivel we've had to listen to about 'now is not the time to panic' previously is shown up for the mouthwash it is.

Trent Copeland must have his mobile phone on vibrate, dancing, boogying, very loud screeching, etc, etc.

Wes ~PFCNFS~ said...

The problem with drafting new bowlers in all the time is that they will get taken apart as well. Copeland has not played a single Test, not even against Bangladesh. I think Oz should go through this now and then regroup after the series. Just wrote a new post about it...