4 January 2011

Usman Khawaja - The thing that should not be

Why are my hot-blooded Pakistani friends going completely bananas over an Australian player to the extent of craving to claim him as their representative in the Australian national side ("our boy", quote) so badly that they are suddenly actually watching  the Ashes -only on the days when he's batting-, and on top of that even grant the honour of the insane Afridi-madness to an Aussie, who, on another occasion, is certainly going to mercilessly belt the shit out of their home side with not the slightest wish to fraternise?

Because Uzzy is a bloody phenomenon.

His phenomenality is composed of four factors:

He is  a Muslim. With only more than 360.000 (and  growing)  Muslim inhabitants in a sparsely populated immigration country like Australia, and half of them living in the cricket capital Sydney (NSW!) alone, chances that one of them will take a bat in hand are about zero.

Even more astounding is the fact that he was actually born in Pakistan.  Only millions of other people are born in Pakistan as well, and just thousands and thousands of them have migrated to countries all over the world, a mere vast majority being completely cricket-mad, and only a few dozen national sides in the world consist almost entirely of Pakistan-born players, so Uzzy looking promising is nothing short of a miracle.

Thirdly and incomprehensibly he is a damn fine cricketer. The few poor preconditions he combines in him, like truckloads of talent, explosive temperament and determination, a quick wit and remarkably fine education, an utterly supportive family and the possibly best development system at Australian state level really leave me wondering how in all the world he even managed to pop his head out, not to mention grab the cap.

Lastly, as we all know, Cricket Australia are extremely keen on keeping players originating from ethnic and religious minorities out of the national side, they would *never* even think of carrying them like life-sized posters in front of themselves, proudly wielding said images in order to assure themselves and the whole world of how multicultural and exemplarily tolerant and integrative modern Australia is (especially if said players are trying to cover up their lowly origin with a first class average of over 50, the worst local accent since Callum Ferguson, the rightful compulsion to correct their Australian-born teammates' abysmal spelling, and a sense of humour that features up-cracking pisstakes on their country of birth).

So if you total these four factors that basically make it impossible for a guy like Uzzy to ever get selected for any international appearances with Australia, you can only come to one conclusion: Uzzy, you beautiful, energetic, buzzing, hilarious, sharp-witted, talent-packed thing that should not be, but which the Australian national mopes so desperately needed.

Two videos:

Post-match interview

Press conference
(contains a marvellous sample of his sense of humour, illustrating how he deals with the idiotic amounts of expectations piled onto him, and the various attempts to utilise him just for who he is)

Uz Uz Hurrah!


related: Ashes Test 5 [scorecard]


Mudassar Ijaz said...

hahaha nice job Wesi. U r right. People should forget about him being Pakistani he is not, he is only Pakistani ethnic now he is more Aussie than Watto lolz.

Masuud said...

About time this had to be put forward. Well done, Wes, well done!

Just as much as the Australianism in him is commendable I just can't let go of his Pakistani roots. Its not like he's another of those British Pakistani cricketers representing England etc. At the same time, I can't help but laugh at people owning up to him and taking him as a homeboy. No, he's not. When your family migrates when you're just 3 yrs old, its impossible for you to owe anything to the place you're leaving behind. Being born in Pakistan wasn't his choice, neither playing for Australia is as I see it. It was just bound to happen and it exactly has. Let's just savor him, the talent he is and wish him all the bloody best that he goes a long way :)

Lou said...

He's lovely, isn't he? So calm and bright.

The Smashes have been a shambles, but at least Ussie has started his international career. So something good has come out of this mess.

Lou said...

And Wes, very good article, a real laugh.

Anonymous said...

Curiously, a well written blog post.