The Pitch Invasion guys and girls brought up a very interesting topic in one of the latest shows:
Which players in the recent history of cricket never sledge anybody?
When the question came to Australia, a lot of umming and ahhing filled the room, until one eventually managed to come up with the names of Michael Hussey and Pat Cummins, the latter of who still being too new-born and innocent to spew out any verbal filth, but sure to catch up with Watto and Mitch very soon. I was shocked by this poor outcome and also slightly irritated because I couldn't think of any other players either. This can't have been it already? So my brain started rotating and as usual, the thought process yielded some amazing results:
The first name that popped up was Nathan Lyon. This guy is just too odd-looking and too decent to have a dig at the opponent's female family members. He's awkwardly-spoken, but decent. And how could they forget about Nathan Hauritz, the greatest non-sledger (and probably also biggest sledge-receiver) in the history of mankind! Which takes us to Xavier Doherty... can you imagine Xavi sledging anyone? I can't. And Steven Smith? Well to be frank, he has the balls, but probably keeps his mouth shut for obvious reasons.
Are we beginning to see a pattern here? Yep. Australia's presumable non-sledgers are almost all amongst the recently picked spinners. Now compare both, their success with the ball and amount of foulmouthery, to Shane Warne's. Are we beginning to see a pattern inside the pattern? And why the heck has nobody noticed it yet?
So here's my advice to Australia's recent, current and future spinners:
For the sake of God, fatherland and cricket, start bloody sledging!!!